He’s Just Not That Into You.

5 signs that the person you are investing in, is just not that into you. 5 simple signs that he, for some reason, is just not that into you. You being beautiful- inside and out, you being a empath- compassionate and understanding of his needs, you being a motivated and driven woman with confidence, and you being a woman: comfortable in your own skin, not afraid to express yourself- a woman down for your man, whatever the weather.

1.His approach to the relationship that you are in is: “let’s just go with the flow“.

Read that again properly. His approach to the relationship, that you never actually signed up for, but have suddenly found yourself in, is: “let’s just go with the flow“. This is the very first tell sign that he is not mutually feeling whatever it is that you are. Somebody that is ready to invest in you and wants to be with you, and only you, will not take such a ‘half in, half out’ approach to this. It just doesn’t work like that- do not be fooled by this, if it doesn’t naturally become a mutual and positive relationship, where you both communicate effectively and make it damn clear what you want from it, it really isn’t worth having in the first place. A bold statement, but “let’s just go with the flow” is an excuse, translating perfectly to “let’s have sex but I don’t want to take you home to meet my family”. If you are months in and this is still the only thing he can come up with- stop now, you are wasting your energy.

2. He wants all of the things that a relationship provides, without the commitment.

It is a classic move, and it is extremely common: he wants you entirely for himself, he wants the date nights, the weekends together, regular sex- he wants all of the things a relationship offers- including your emotional support, but he doesn’t want to commit. Firstly, this is just completely and utterly disrespectful towards you. Let’s put this into perspective: he is going to reap all of the benefits that a relationship offers, you are going to emotionally let those guards down and slowly but surely, you will be practically in a relationship, closed off to the idea of talking to somebody else- but the commitment from him never arrives. When the conversation of a potential relationship status occurs, it will be a case of, “I don’t really think we need to label this“. Take that as your exit out of that relationship. He is having his cake, and he is eating it too, and he will continue to do so until you wise up to this.

3. He can take you or leave you, absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

In very simple terms, he really isn’t that fussed. He could quite easily go days without speaking to you, and uses a disagreement as a way to ignore you for a while. He will eventually talk to you again, but only when he decides he wants to. Again, there is no mutual understanding here, and there is no desire, whatsoever to communicate with you in a healthy way. Your absence to his life does not bother him. Sure, he would quite happily welcome you with open arms but he isn’t phased about making the effort to remain in your life. In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it is more a case of, out of sight out of mind. Know your worth; if you are really that forgettable to him, it is evident that he is not that serious about you.

4. He refuses to engage in conversation that identifies what the long term plans are.

You may be met with comments that suggest you are pressuring them, or making them feel uncomfortable at the fact that you are wanting to talk seriously about your future together- which, coincidently, does not exist. Firstly, don’t think that you are stepping out of line for wanting to have this conversation, as far as you are concerned this is a man that you are wanting to share your time with. This whole commentary around feeling pressured is yet, another excuse and way of avoiding the obvious question, which has a very obvious answer. Of course they don’t wish to engage in these conversations, and that is solely because they don’t wish to have a long term plan with you. It may sound harsh, but that is the truth of the matter. A man who is down for a woman will not be so flippant when it comes to a completely reasonable conversation. The moment you are batted away with the pressure comments is a clear tell sign that he is not having these conversations, because he is not comfortable to do so, but equally not brave enough to tell you the truth.

5. You are not the only woman in his life.

This probably does not require much of an explanation. If you are not the only woman in his life, then there is no point in continuing. If there is a genuine connection, where you are totally into him and he fully reciprocates it, then there would be no reason, whatsoever to entertain other women. This is not limited to sleeping with other people, this includes initiating conversations that would suggest to another person, that they are available and very much single. There is nothing respectful about this behaviour, and it just indicates that he is not that worried about causing you pain- they are simply not satisfied with just you. Somebody who is happy, is not emotionally or physically available for somebody else. If you allow this behaviour, it becomes acceptable for them and subconsciously, they lose respect for you anyway. If they cannot appreciate you for your entirety, and have time to invest in others as well as you, you are selling yourself short and you should not accept this, in any way, shape or form.

Close the chapter- he’s just not that into you. There are better things to come. When the right person walks in, it will all become clear why they had to leave.

L x

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